Aroused or not aroused?
My first blog is about a pretty old song. I thought about it when I was thinking about the difference in sex drive between men and women. How? I'm going to explain it to you, and I don't think it's going the way you think. Read the text (in Dutch) or follow the link (and come back, eh) and I'll tell you more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RN8uTDAHxM
We zitten samen in de kamer
En de stereo staat zacht
En ik denk nu gaat 't gebeuren
Hierop heb ik zo lang gewacht
Niemand in huis de deur op slot
Mijn avond kan niet meer kapot
Suzanne, Suzanne
Suzanne, ik ben stapelgek op jou
Ik leg mijn arm om haar schouders
Streel haar zachtjes door haar haar
Ik kan het bijna niet geloven
Voorzichtig kussen wij elkaar
En opeens gaat de telefoon
En een vriendelijke stem
Aan de andere kant van de lijn
Verontschuldigt zich voor
't verkeerd verbonden zijn
En ik denk bij mezelf:
Waarom nu, waarom ik, waarom
Suzanne, Suzanne
Suzanne, ik ben stapelgek op jou
'k Ga maar weer opnieuw beginnen
Zoen haar teder in haar nek
Maar de hartstocht is verdwenen
En ze reageert zo gek.
Ze vraagt of er nog cola is
En ik denk: nu is het mis
We zitten nog steeds in de kamer
Met de stereo op tien
't zal nu wel niet meer gebeuren
Dus ik hou het voor gezien
Ze zegt: ik denk dat ik maar ga
Ze zegt: tot ziens en ik zeg: ja
Suzanne, Suzanne
Suzanne, ik ben stapelgek op jou
Ik ben stapelgek op jou…
It all started last night when I read in a book that women generally have less need for sex. I thought, "What nonsense!", so I went to find out a bit further. Researchers are also increasingly discovering that women do want sex just as much as men. So we don't really know for sure yet, so why is it that this image continues to exist so strongly?
The point is that (on average, huh) men experience sex in a different way than women. Men are easy to get in the mood (“You want a blowjob?” >> ready for sex). From there their experience goes in a fairly straight line, there is little that can normally take them off that path. By having sex, a man confirms his bond with the woman and often feels very close to you afterwards. That is why you can make a man promise everything after sex, the famous pillow talk.
This is different for women. A woman's sexual experience resembles a board game, with lots of squares that say "back to start" or even "Abort mission!", Whether that woman wants it or not. To begin with, a woman must feel comfortable, as comfortable as men feel after sex. If she does not feel that, or no longer, it is very difficult for a woman to maintain a sex drive. And now we come to the song I let you watch. Suzanne felt ok at first, and the sex was just getting off to a good start, when she was shocked by the phone and she was completely out of sync. Stress, feeling unsafe, feeling uncomfortable, feeling disrespected, all sex blockers.
If a couple has taken that hurdle, the woman feels fine and the mood is good, the next hurdle will arise: Is the woman being stimulated in the right way? With a woman this is simply a bit more difficult to find out than with men, and every woman is different. And it changes too! Even if the woman changes her attitude slightly. That is really difficult for men to find out and for women themselves of course. And when you finally know what you like to do yourself, it also feels different when someone else does it! Aaaagh! I have tips on how to best deal with this. More about that in a next blog, we promise!
What I can already tell you is that it is important to remember these two factors. The first is that the woman should, in short, feel comfortable and the second is that the woman is turned on by the right actions, in short. Please note, so first put point one right and keep it right, and only then point two makes sense. Take advantage of it gentlemen! In the song you can see that the singer is missing that point. If he had put the girl back at ease before kissing again, it would have been much better. Those who have watched the video also know that the girl did indeed want sex. She is soon in the arms of other men, which she feels comfortable with. Scientific evidence from 1983! (Just kidding, remember I like to joke)
It is clear that the path of good sex with orgasm(s) collapses much faster for a woman than for men. And if you have experienced this as a woman before, much more often, and sometimes have continued making love and fucking while the light in your head has actually turned red, it is logical that at some point women feel like "never mind". While the need is still there.
If you look at it without this knowledge you think, yes, women are much less aroused. But just imagine if all women would have a desire to have sex, they would always feel comfortable and be properly stimulated and fucked , what would that look like? Women may turn out to have a much greater libido than men. What do you think!? Women can go on much longer, cum much more often and scream much louder haha! Also a joke about the latter, but there is still a lot to improve and fun to increase. I am happy to help men and women with that. Here in the blogs or online of course! Talk to you soon.
Sources: Youtube, genius.com, gezondheid.be
Love,
Datum: 07-09-'20
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