Seksdrive during quarantine
It is not surprising that, in an abnormal situation, something remarkable happens to our sense of sex. In corona isolation we suddenly have less or much more contact with our loved ones, with fear and frustration, with a lot of free time or a completely changed daily structure ... Not surprisingly, some of us now have much less, or much more, desire for sex. How does that work exactly?
Since the corona pandemic broke out, Pornhub usage has skyrocketed all over the world. Dating apps have gained new momentum. People are sending sexually explicit photos faster and more. Does this mean that quarantine triggers horniness? For some, yes, according to research now being done at the Kinsey Institute in the United States.
The Kinsey Intitute is a research institute on sexuality and relationships. In March they began a study that looks at how the pandemic is affecting people's sexuality. They see a higher percentage of people having more sex or masturbating, and a higher percentage of people wanting to do it less or not at all. The group that is becoming less sexually active is the largest. So people are moving towards extremes, and most of these people have less and less desire.
The behavior of the latter group seems easy to explain. Fear, insecurity and worry can form hefty barriers to arousal. And between partners who are constantly on each other's lips in quarantine, sexual desire often diminishes - says sex and relationship therapist Esther Perel, for example. Regular distance, or living your own life, increases erotic tension, she says.
So how does it work for those who want more sex? First of all, it helps that people are at home a lot now, often with more time than they normally have. There is simply more time to have sex or masturbate. It also helps, then, that people have more privacy during the day to engage with their bodies. Even those who work from home can more easily take a break for a quick masturbation session, or a horny look at their partner. Those who sit alone at home can easily start to crave simple skin-to-skin contact (which is a basic human need!), and this "skin hunger" can manifest itself in a sexual sense. We are confronted all day long with the fact that touch is now not allowed - and what is forbidden can therefore become attractive.
We also see that, because of the distance, people are getting more creative with their desire for sex. More nude photos are being sent, people are sexting more quickly, and sex via video calls is becoming increasingly popular. Perhaps this is also part of a broader phenomenon: that people appear to exhibit more risky sexual behavior when confronted with death (research shows: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07481180490490988). Thus, even in quarantine, where death may not be immediately on everyone's mind, fear and worry can also increase the desire for sex. The intimacy with another person, or the relaxation that masturbation brings, can be reassuring.
Maybe you feel like sex more, but you don't have a steady partner with whom you can have corona-proof sex. Some people solve this by (e.g. via dating apps) looking for someone with whom they can have monogamous sex, at least during this period. Loving sex only with yourself can also be a solution. Masturbating (in an attentive way) can have a stress-relieving effect. However, masturbating hard just to be distracted and trying to play Pornhub is not the best tactic for healthy contact with your own body. Then again, if it works for you: enjoy it.
With partners who can, in principle, be physically together, there may be a difference in mood. One of them is more often excited, and the other doesn't want to think about it. How do you deal with this? It hopefully helps at least to be able to recognize that everyone has different ways of dealing with this situation. Reduced desire does not necessarily mean that the love or passion is over, but it may very well be a symptom of the corona lifestyle. And just in case you're eager to arouse your sex drive, also take time and attention to the arousal process itself. Especially if you're home together a lot, it's not always easy to immediately switch into sex mode as soon as you're in bed. Take the time to seduce each other. Do your best to set up a safe, intimate and sensual atmosphere. As Esther Perel also says, foreplay begins as soon as you raise your pants after the previous lovemaking session.
Laura
sexpower.online
Datum: 24-04-'20
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