Stealthing, what is it and how do I prevent it?

What is stealthing

Stealthing is a new term for something that has actually been around for a long time, but has recently become known through forums and sites where it is encouraged. It involves the man secretly removing his condom during sex without his partner realizing it. This can then lead to unplanned pregnancies and STIs. Stealthing can therefore be seen as sexual abuse. In cases of stealthing, consent has been given to have safe sex which, once the condom is intentionally removed or damaged, is no longer safe, while no consent has been given for unsafe sex. Consequently, in some countries such as Germany, Switzerland and England, people have been convicted of stealthing.

How do you prevent stealthing? 

Stealthing is hard to prevent because it is such a sneaky trick. Nevertheless, we can give you a few tips to minimize the chance of being stalked. Here we list them.

Be careful if your partner doesn't want to use a condom. If your partner does not want to use a condom from the start, and wants to convince you to have unsafe sex, it is advisable to pay extra attention during sex.

Make sure you can see the penis. If you use a position where you can see the penis, or sometimes change positions, you can check if the condom is still on the penis if you don't trust it.

Use condoms you can feel. As soon as someone takes off a ribbed condom, you will feel a difference right away.

What to do if you have been stealthed?

It's hard to tell if someone has taken off their condom during sex, which is why it's also important to know what you can do if you do get stealthed.

Get tested. With unsafe sex you are always at risk for STIs and pregnancy. So always get tested.

Report it. As discussed earlier, stealthing is a form of sexual assault and people have already been prosecuted in some countries.

Seek mental support. A sexual assault can be traumatizing. So don't be afraid to seek help.

Source: This blog was reprinted with permission from condoom.nu.

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Daisy Jacobs ♦ sex therapist & coach

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