The perfect labia
A lot of (young) women wonder, ashamed, anonymously on a forum: am I "normal", down there? It is often about what the labia look like: too long, protruding, too dark, too messy, uneven ... Some have had negative comments about their labia from a (rather disrespectful) bed partner. And more and more people are asking for a labia reduction at the plastic surgeon, in an attempt to create the perfect labia. But what are the perfect labia? What are at least "normal" labia? And is surgery the solution?
First of all, there is no such thing as a "normal" looking vulva. I use "vulva" for that part of the body which is often - incorrectly - called "vagina". Vulva is the word for the external genital organs, while the vagina is the channel between the entrance and the cervix. There is an unbelievable diversity of shapes, colors and sizes, especially with the inner labia. So actually all these variations are "normal". Sometimes they are narrow edges that are completely hidden behind the outer labia. They are usually larger. In the majority of women, they are longer than the outer labia and "stick out". Almost always there is a difference in shape and size between the lips on the left and right. In most women, the inner labia are 1-5 cm long at the point where they protrude the most, but this is an average, and smaller or larger is still common.
Labia are therefore long or short, protruding or tucked away, brown, pink, red or purple, more or less swollen, bumpy or smooth ... Everything is possible. We see so few different vulvas in our lives - unless we are a gynecologist or working at a wax salon - that we actually don't have an idea. The most visible vulvas are the drawn versions in a biology book or, yes, the vulvas in porn. The porn star, where the inner labia are barely visible behind a straight slit. Since this seems to be the norm, it's hard to convince ourselves that vulvas and labia are normal even when they're not like the porn stars.
It is also often exaggerated how much bed partners value the appearance of the labia. Of course, they too have been confronted more often with the absent inner lips in porn, but most men and women who have seen multiple vulvas in real life know that there is great diversity. If someone tells you that your labia are ugly or deviant, it says a lot about the uncertainty and ignorance of this person.So it is a myth that the porn star is the default. Certainly from the perspective of health or sexual pleasure, the size or shape of labia does not matter. The labia don't get bigger from masturbating or from having a lot of sex, which is also believed here and there. And speaking of it, should we even call them "shame" lips (in Dutch)? We sometimes hear alternative names, such as vulvalips or labia. Because why have we learned to be ashamed of it?
Better to look at those labia with a little more love and appreciation, because they are quite useful! They protect the rest of the vulva from abrasive clothes and harmful bacteria. With sexual arousal, the outer and inner lips fill with blood, swell and form a kind of pads. They have many nerve endings that we have fun with during sex, and they produce fluid that makes sex easier and more enjoyable. The inner labia are also connected to the clitoris, allowing movement of these lips to make touch extra delicious. Sometimes people complain that labia that are too long are slipping in when penetrated, but this should not b the case with sufficient excitement (and thus swelling), which makes them open more. The inner labia just give some extra "grip" on what goes into the vagina - and also offer some extra sensation for the penis, for example.
And yet, for most girls and women, it is not that easy to love this body part as well. We see few vulvas, and hear little about the pleasure we can experience. This creates shame and doubt. During puberty, the outer labia become fuller and the inner grow out. This change can cause quite a bit of uncertainty, and sometimes young adolescents are already asking for a labia reduction.
The "labia correction" or labia reduction is one of the fastest growing types of cosmetic procedures in the world - done in most cases for beauty reasons, without medical necessity. (Even the name, which implies that something needs to be "corrected," shows that little is known about what the vast majority of vulvas look like.) Usually, women ask to trim their inner labia during this surgery. There are also (in rare cases) women with labia that are really uncomfortable for them - where sitting is painful or the lips get into a zipper easily, for example. Or women where the inner labia are so short that they cause pain or infections. In these cases, if there is a medical need, the general practitioner will in principle refer you to a gynecologist.
Of course, women can opt for labia surgery only for beauty reasons, even if there are no health problems. There are women who really feel free and confident enough to go to the sauna or swimming pool after an operation. However, it is important to carefully consider the risks, benefits and alternatives when choosing a labia operation. The surgery is done during day treatment, usually under local anesthesia, and recovery takes about two weeks for most women. As with any surgery, there are risks of infection and bleeding. Some women suffer from scar tissue. There is also a risk of decreased sexual sensations after surgery. Since the labia have a lot of important functions, it is not recommended to take too much away. In labia reductions, only labia tissue can be removed, but often tissue around the clitoris is also removed to keep it in balance. An operation is allowed from the age of 18, partly because all labia continue to grow during puberty - so it is also possible that the growing outer lips make the inner lips less visible later. When choosing, remember that a plastic surgeon also has a financial interest in recommending an operation.
Does surgery seem to be the only solution to the dissatisfaction with your labia? Are there also alternatives? Research shows that if reduced self-confidence is the driving force behind the surgery, the surgery usually doesn't solve the problem. The solution may be found in more knowledge about vulva and labia, and what "normal" actually is. Many women will appreciate their vulva more if they look at it more often and more attentively, and if they learn about the diversity that exists. The more "normal" vulvas they see, the more satisfied they are with their own vulva, according to research from the AMC Academic Medical Center, Amsterdam). There is nothing wrong with a vulva that is not physically affected.
Rather than surgery, it is recommended that you learn to love your own vulva as it is, with all the goodness it can give you. You and your labia deserve to have sex with people who treat you with respect and the many different types of labia that exist.
The labia that you look at with love are the perfect labia.
Want to know more?
What do all those different vulvas look like? A number of artists and collectors are trying to show the diversity, all based on real vulvas:
- The Vulva Gallery, with drawn vulvas based on photos: thevulvagallery.com
- The Great Wall of Vagina, plaster casts of many vulvas: greatwallofvagina.co.uk
- I Love My Petals, series of photos of vulvas: ilovemypetals.com
- Illustrations by Betty Dodson: scarleteen.com/resource/advice/betty_dodsons_vulva_illustrations
- Liefde aan grote schaamlippen,for self-submitted photos of women with large labia ra: liefdeaangroteschaamlippen.nl
(Although this blog is based on reliable medical sources, I am not a doctor. Do seek medical advice from your primary care physician.)
Laura
sexpower.online
Datum: 09-03-'20
Terug naar overzicht
